What's gotten on me?

It has been few months now. I have been caught up so much with school and work recently.
Beside that my current obsession is shopping and having good foods with friends.

I like it this way. Perhaps age is catching up? Or maybe my shopaholic behaviour has gotten back on me again?

I don't know but if this makes me happy, why do I need to stop?.

You know, we can't buy times. So let just use it wisely then.

Anyway, I am in the state of buying this fashionable jewellery from Anna Sue. If you never heard about here before you gotta Google her now.

Her design is quite expensive but it was so beautiful. I will post it here once I finalize my order.

I am so excited.

The most important thing.

I had to postpone my planned leave to June instead. I know it is another two more months instead of the original plan which is next month, April.

I was too worried and at the same time disappointed with my plan.
However, my past had taught me something. That is never rush on things.

So, I am taking things slowly.


Long distance

I am currently in a long distance relationship. We are facing so much difficulties. Until I am no longer sure how to deal with it.

I am breaking down and I started to distance myself away from him.

I tried so hard not to look at my phone or Facebook at all. Because that will cause more hurt to me.

I am hurt.

English Class

I had this strong memories about what had happened during my English course few years back (in fact that was many years ago ) but it felt like yesterday.

And I would never expect to see him again. Never in my life to expect this.

I was alone and away from the family for the first time. The moment when I heard his name, I was relieved. I told myself, "yes ada urang Sabah juga..."

Saw him many times but I could never have the guts to start a conversation. So I just passed by. Maybe, tomorrow will be better. I think.

So the cycle goes on. Saw him but he always surrounded with "bunches" of gorgeous ladies. So I walked passed by.

I think maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

There were times when he just walked out without even say hi although I was practically standing in front of him. I told myself, I should say hi. "Tapi biarlah kasi limpas lah dia...muka dia pun macam mo makan orang..."

Maybe tomorrow will be okay. Trying so hard to comfort my heart.

For some reason, I cannot really recall about what had happened that day. But I knew either the class was cancelled or it ended early. 
Then the moment I walked out, I saw him right in front of me. Like seriously, he was there right in front of me.

I was panic. Thinking what should I do. 

My brain was telling me that I should say hi. Instead, I gave him my smile. Maybe the best smile ever.


He don't even smile back at me BUT he turned his face away. Like I am not even exist at all.

Punyalah ni orang. Bikin panas.

Try to keep cool and I walked out. SERIOUSLY, I hate you for that.

I am no longer looking forward to see you at school. Obviously, I get annoyed whenever I saw you at school.

So, I never look back at you anymore. 

What is going on

Since I am done with my exam, I managed to write something before the busy schedule hit me again. Seriously, life was like at the edge the last few months.

Like I said, I need to focus more on myself for temporary.

If only you remember my post at Dramatic .  To those who felt that I've abandon the friendship- then I feel sorry for you.

When friends stopped calling or messaging you , that doesn't mean that they betray you. I don't see there is a trust issue here. Aigoo.

Anyway, I managed to finish up my online drama series these few days. Had a long good sleep and some reading.

Just so you know, I am into a health programme lately. I decided to be on board seriously on March 3,2016.

That explained why I was busy. Because why?. Because I am focusing more on self development.

I will talk about it more on my next post. But as for now, I've lost 2.6 kgs as of today. I feel more lighter and more confident than before.

Till then. I gotta go. Cheers to a healthy lifestyle!

You steady my heart

I am done with my final exam finally. It was a relief.

I know. I didn't write that much nowadays. I've been busy with school,revision and self-discovery. It was quite tough though. But thank God, I survived.

I am suppose to return back to KK City this month. Specifically today. But due to some error, I have to postpone the plan.

Life is getting better, although I had hiccups here and there. But overall things are getting better I believe.

I will just need to concentrate more on my studies.

Lately, I've been praying a lot. Not to boost myself.
It just that I feel life more at peace since I started going to church consistently.
I am becoming more calm and my heart started to heal. Day by day. Bit by bit.

It was really true.
Stop looking for love as it will eventually find you.

God, you steady my heart. Thank you.


Wait up. Before you "named" me dramatic.

I must say, at least am living my own life in a real world. So, I decided to cancel my trip to Kota Kinabalu next month.

I do not feel good about it and part of my heart says, I should postpone the whole thing.

So, I am going to follow my instinct and concentrate on the new project which we got. Too much to think and too much to read.

Temporarily, I will focus on myself more than anything else. That's all matter now.


Life has been pretty hard lately. But well, I survived.
Somehow, I just have to move on no matter how much I want it to happen.

I'm fine. I am going to keep my senses.
I am going to make sure I will finish my studies, no matter what.

Till then, greeting from far. And honestly , I am proud to be a Sabahan. Just so you know.


Hard To Understand A person

Many things happened in just 30-days.

I met new friends.

Some of them are awesome and a "little" of him was hurtful.

I don't know if it was only me but I realized  it happened to me a lot of times. You know about relationship thingy.

I am not trying to act like a newbie now but I will always have a relationship problem whenever I start something new especially whenever I get back to "school".

Yes you heard me. I am a person who can't say "NO" to a person.

You see, I knew this gentleman who I thought was a gentleman before. I thought so as you look so fine.

So I was like, okay we can be friend though. No harm. Since we have some mutual friends.

Little did I know, you are so delusional. It feel so bad for not trusting my instinct.

You get upset when I replied your text in short answer.
You were not happy knowing that I am so happy being myself. You tried to "custom made me" to meet your need.
You get disappointed on me for not able to entertain you.

"Ko ingat sa ni apa, sayur kim chi kah?"

Still. I try to keep things easy. Because I always believe there is always a reason why did you act such way.

And today you called and get upset just because I do not want to have a video call with you.

Shall I say WTF instead?. We both are strangers and I give you face considering we have some mutual friends.

But here you are trying to pick up problems with me every now and then. SERIOUSLY, I do not know what the f**k you want from me.

And what was with,"jangan sombong sgt". Because I refused you?. Tell me the logic here.

Dude, a man like you do not deserve a friend. Because why?.

After two weeks, I can say that you are:

1. Selfish
2. Possessive
3. Tempered
5. Can't handle rejection

Dude to summarize, you just delusional. I am so sorry but I think we can't continue this friendship anymore.


P/S Have you ever had this toxic friend?

Her Wishlist

Go Bring Mommy To Holiday
Go Study Something
Get Fit,Strong and Toned
Get Married


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